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Course Brook Farm Horse Trials - July 28, 2019

After a successful first-ever horse trial with Ellie in the spring, I decided to try a new-to-me venue for our July horse trial.  I also felt we were definitely ready to move up a level, from Introductory 18" to Elementary 2'.  Honestly, could we jump higher and do a more difficult dressage test?  Yes.  But I am a firm believer in setting my horse up for success by not over facing her, and knowing this would be a true cross country course through the woods, I didn't want anything to seem hard or scary to her.  I wanted us both to feel confident by having a positive experience.
Ellie and I traveled down to Course Brook Farm in Massachusetts on July 28, and while it was a long trip there, Ellie unloaded and settled in easily. Traffic had been heavier than I anticipated, so while we were not running late, I definitely had no extra time once we arrived. I did not realize this venue was actually A LOT bigger than I imagined, with 160 (!!!!) horses competing that day.  Ellie had…

Day 24 - Your best riding friend

For many years, I had three riding friends: one who was local and we rode/lessoned a lot together, one who I did most of my showing with and who lived a little further away, and one who was in a neighboring state so I didn't see often.

Funny things happen when you get divorced, improve your life tremendously, and then suddenly one day find yourself with a new partner.  Some friends cannot handle it and leave you behind.  I get it, this is part of life and I don't blame anyone.  I avoid drama at all costs, but when others create it, there is not much I can do.  And at my age and stage in life, I just don't have interest in drama or negativity or acting like high schoolers.  No thank you!

Local riding friend's husband is a high school friend of Jason's, and he made it extremely clear he was not happy we decided to get married.  (I mean clearly, I am a terrible, terrible choice in a wife LMAO!) To be polite and not get into the horrid details of the way he acted, let's just say he caused so many problems about it all that he ended up refusing to be in the wedding just a month beforehand (as did local riding friend just afterwards - can't blame her I suppose, since I didn't expect her to choose me over her husband) and he is now known as the Disgruntled Wedding Planner.  Seriously, what can you do but laugh at such immature buffoonery?  It is sad, mostly for my husband who thought he was a real friend, but the DWP made the choice to act the way he did.  I think he figured it would all blow over and all would be forgiven, but he was downright cruel.  There was absolutely nothing I could do to improve the situation (besides break up with my now husband - yeahhh no) and now there just really isn't a reason to be "friends" with people who are so hurtful, immature, and cruel.

Horse show friend ended up starting an affair and cheating on her husband (going on three years and this is not the first affair sadly but is the most "serious" if that can even be said about an affair), which made me super uncomfortable (such as: she brought the boyfriend TO THE HOSPITAL THE DAY AFTER I GAVE BIRTH to my now two year old son and just three days later her husband texted to invite us to a surprise birthday party for her - which I sweetly declined and blamed the fact I had just had a baby by c-section.  Honestly, I just didn't know how to handle the entire situation and didn't want to be a part of it.) Despite trying to be a supportive (yet baffled) friend, we have now drifted apart which is probably for the best.  We used to bond over our awful husbands and I think the fact I moved on from my bad first marriage and improved my life (while she has the situation she created...) made it hard in the end.  We are still "friends" on Facebook, but she stopped returning my texts a while back and I just didn't push it.  

Thankfully, the riding friend in a neighboring state is rational and sane and kind, so we are still friends!  LOL!  We have been friends since just after college (even though we attended the same university, we didn't meet until AFTER we graduated - weird!).  She hasn't done much riding over the last several years, but she does have two lovely Standardbred geldings.  I am hopeful that if I keep pestering encouraging her, she will carve out the time to work with them, because she does want to get back into eventing.  She is a wonderful horsewoman and will do well, but she's gotta make time for herself.  I know firsthand how hard that can be, so I am certainly not judging!  The only downfall is that we live just far enough away from each other that we cannot easily see one another and we don't have opportunities to ride together right now. 

The hardest part about keeping my horse at home, living soooo far away from everything, and not currently having an instructor (which is going to change soon, but more on that later!), is that I don't have regular contact with any horsey people.  The girls I grew up riding with no longer ride or own horses and none of my college riding buddies are remotely close by, even though we are all friends on Facebook and such.  Besides the one horse show friend above (in the love triangle affair), I have shown my horse alone since college.  There are decent horse people here in Maine I have met in various capacities, but no one I have pursued as a friend, not because they don't seem like good friend material but...I don't even know how to make friends at my age LOL!  And honestly, I simply seem to have bad luck and trust people too much (and then get hurt), so over the past few years I just keep to myself.  It is just easier that way and causes way less heartache! 

Ah well. Here's a cute pic of Ellie so this post at least some media!  
Thank you, tiny orange barn kitty, for always being so helpful on our rides.  Thank goodness Ellie is (mostly) good about a cat darting around.  #wewillbepreparedforcatsintheshowring






Comments

  1. all the drama LOL :) I am glad you kept one friend HA! So funny all that (Not funny really how sad, but the story is great). I have had some friends come and go too over the years. I do think being at home with your horses does stifle the friends situation. I wish we lived closer to you :)

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    1. Seriously, I am like do I have a neon sign on my forehead that says bring your drama here? I am too for that crap! LOL And I KNOW, your group would be awesome to hang with!! :-)

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    2. I really debated writing as much as I did (instead just focusing on the sane horse friend in NH), but I was like nahhh it is too freaking crazy how the other two have exited. Might as well not sugar coat my life! ;-)

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  2. I’ll be your friend! Honestly it is nearly impossible to connect with people on that level as an adult. I hope finding a new trainer helps connect you with more horse people near you.

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    1. Yay! Too bad we are so far apart hahaha! It is so hard to connect with anyone when I am already so involved with my job (with no horsey people in sight haha), my kids, and my horses at home. I am definitely hopeful that starting lessons in January will help! I need a barn family to take me in LOL!

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  3. Weddings make people insane. My best friend/maid of honor informed me a few weeks before our wedding that if we did not seat her two kids (under 5) at the table with her at the reception, she would not be attending. No other workaround was acceptable - including leaving them with the babysitter we hired. The best man/husband's brother and his wife declared the same thing (three kids under 5). Haven't spoken to my friend since the wedding. Unfortunately the same is not an option for my brother-in-law.

    Anyway - next time I am in Maine, I will definitely make sure to reach out so we can connect!

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    1. Uggg, sorry about your friend, and I totally feel your pain. I try so hard to be a loyal and kind friend (sometimes maybe to the point of being a doormat, but that's my own fault and something I have improved as I age) and I am always left totally flabbergasted when people behave so poorly! :-( We definitely need to connect if/when you are here in Maine!

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